Movement

This week for my class we read about women’s movements and men’s movements as well.

What women’s and men’s movement do you most identify with? Why?

While reading through Wood’s book (http://www.amazon.com/Gendered-Lives-Communication-Gender-Culture/dp/0495794163/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1297827965&sr=8-1), I did not wholly identify with any particular movement, but instead specific parts of certain movements.

On the women’s movement side, I identified with a portion of the Power Feminism movement. While I do not agree with all of it, such as Wood paraphrases Naomi Wolf, “ . . . that the only thing holding [women] back from equality is their own belief that they are victims,” part of this makes a lot of sense to me, namely getting rid of the victim mentality. “Victim” has many connotations, and yes, many of them are accurate. But the problem with the word is that it places an emphasis on being powerless against circumstances. Sadly, people are victimized on a daily basis, but there is a difference between being victimized and having the victim mind set. If one has that mind set, they are not in control of their own lives, but rather all the forces of the world will be acting upon them and they will feel as if they have little to no choice. In the best-selling book “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen R. Covey (http://www.amazon.com/Habits-Highly-Effective-People/dp/0743269519/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1297828701&sr=1-1), the first habit is “to be proactive.” One is either acting or being acted upon, and the difference between the two is immense. At one time, I was in the mind set where I felt I had no power, no control over my life. I let myself be victim to the whims of the world around me, and fell into a deep depression because of it. When I realized that I did have control, that I could act and it was in my power to make a difference, things began to change; I came out of the ditch I had been stuck in and started to move on. It’s an important thing for people to realize and many don’t. Never relinquish responsibility for your own life; so many do, and it’s the first step to grow as a person. If I can encourage anyone to be this way, to take control like that, I will.

For the men’s movements I read about, parts of several popped out at me, such as the organization NOMAS (National Organization for Men Against Sexism), wither their goals of teaching men how social constructs have emotionally stunted them, and then Antiviolence groups and others. One of the most interesting was the Mythopoetic Men movement. As Woods writes, “Mythopoetics want men to rediscover the deep, mythic roots of masculine thinking and feeling, which they believe will restore men to their primordial spiritual, emotional, and intellectual wholeness” (106). While I do not agree with much of the movement, especially as they place blame on feminism for men’s emotional problems (that’s simply part of a victim mind set as written about above; it seems like nothing more than scapegoat to me) and that “men need to reclaim courage, aggression, and virility as masculine birthrights,” the part of the movement that stuck out to me is the idea of father hunger, which Woods describes as “A grief born of yearning to be close to actual fathers and to other men and to build deep, spiritual bonds between men.” American society places an extreme importance on independence and causes many men to feel isolated. I don’t necessarily know if it’s “father hunger” specifically, but men in general seem to have this disconnect and have little in the way of mentors (I found it interesting that Woods mentioned the book Fight Club, which is absolutely relevant to this). This seems problematic, especially when so many men have been raised now on television and video games and then are expected to go out into the world. And the world can be harsh and uncompromising, especially if one has little in the way of social skills. Men are taught many things such as to be competitive and aggressive, burdened with ideas of being successful, playing sports, etc. I can remember in my youth being taught these things (although not necessarily overtly), but never was I taught how to hold a conversation, which is not a typically male thing. I was taught manners, etc. and while many typically male ideals have their uses, none are so much as useful as how to communicate with others, which determines more than anything else in our lives; social constructs place men in states of stoicism etc., but that helps no one deeply connect with others, be they men or women. Men should be learning these kind of skills from mentors, be they a father figure or someone else; instead, in many cases, emotions are locked away. And opening up is key to connecting with others. In social constructs, this is of course looked down upon men for men to do; but mentors and role models can change this.

Because, as Covey states in 7 Habits, independence is not the highest level of existing with others. We deal with other people on a daily basis, with nature and everything else. Independence is just a step toward realizing the interdependent reality of the world.